Down the rabbit hole & out the back door

This past year has been a bit of a limbo year as I have endeavored to figure what to do next with my life. As those who know me well will already know, the choices I have contemplated are many and seemingly have little or nothing to do with one another. They include doing a PhD continuing my MA research on women and war, pursuing new research on the impacts of social media on accountability in non-democratic regimes, continuing to consult work with New York-based organizations on women in conflict, starting up my own NGO to support women peacebuilders, starting up my own business, and more.

In typical Renee-style, I have had a difficult time discarding any of these ideas and the consequence is that I have in some way pursued them all. I recently submitted a paper proposal to the International Studies Association on social media & accountability, which will likely be the basis of a PhD should I decide to pursue one. In September, I found out that I was accepted to present that paper in March in Montreal.

I also spent March and October in New York, first for the Commission on the Status of Women and then for the 10-year anniversary of Resolution 1325 on Women, Peace & Security, consulting with the Global Network of Women Peacebuilders, in between my contract with the Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games in Vancouver. I also finished my contract with UNIFEM, where I authored the web site content for their Women, War & Peace section.

In late spring, I also decided to pursue a business idea that I devised years ago after my friend Matthieu developed a little web site for my condo association to help with document sharing, community building, condo greening, and strata professionalization. The result of these efforts is my first small business, Stratasphere, which will launch in a few weeks time.

November also brought a rather unexpected connection my way in the form of an NGO upstart called United Girls of the World. The women with whom I will serve on the Board aim to strengthen the self-esteem of women and girls (as well as boys and men) by engaging on projects addressing critical issues affecting girls around the world.

In November, I also got my first article published in Vancouver paper The Georgia Strait which discussed the missed opportunity of engaging the talents and skills of our civil society at home in supporting those abroad. Both that article and a screening of 'Pray the Devil Back to Hell' have together catalyzed the assembly of a wonderful group of 50 (and counting) fabulous women and men volunteers who have come together under the name Women in Peacebuilding to find new ways to use our skills, time and networks to support women's peacebuilding initiatives in conflict-affected countries. This group is weeks old and I am very excited to see where it goes in the new year.

I also keep getting asked to speak in various venues on some of these issues. A woman in Calgary asked me to speak to her high school students on the ways that social media is being used to promote accountability. I have been asked by Engineers without Borders to work on the Women in Development panel at the Bridging the Gap conference in March, and separately to host a screening of Pray the Devil Back to Hell followed by a workshop on the role of women in peacebuilding. UBC has asked me to do something similar as well.

These are all really exciting development, and the only concerns I have are around how exactly I will support myself financially as I pursue these projects, and how I will get over my extreme nervousness of speaking to crowds. I am excited to face both challenges and explore these new directions in the new year.

With these new opportunities, I have also identified some habits that I need to break, including:

• Doing less distracting and avoiding recurring patterns in my life and instead dealing with things more openly and honestly
• Spending less time in virtual reality and more time in actual reality
• Getting past being nervous and being more confident in my ability to move people with stories
• Avoiding cutting people off and instead listening carefully and with curiosity

With that in mind, my goals for the new year are as follows:

1. Be happy & healthy
2. Take music lessons & live with music in my heart
3. Pursue meaningful relationships
4. Help people in difficult situations in meaningful & empowering ways
5. Find new ways to challenge my heart and my mind
6. Listen carefully to others
7. Continue to explore new places
8. Use my time well, including relaxing time
9. Change the rules of the game

I am incredibly grateful for the people I have met, and the opportunities and experiences I have had so far and I'm excited to face the challenges and opportunities that 2011 will bring!